Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
