He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
