that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
