You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You smell like a Billy Joel song
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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