I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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