i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
