I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
