No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
