I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
