DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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