More tranny stories later!
Pants 0. Shit 1.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
People in love make me want to vomit
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
organizing the empties. That sober.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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