i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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