All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
