so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
