Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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