He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
