Dual....:-)
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
