are you still at the devil's house?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
