It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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