i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
