I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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