:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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