Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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