I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
