Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
