she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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