If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
