She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
