I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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