Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
