I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
