we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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