I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
