just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
