I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
