Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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