yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
