hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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