Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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