There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
