Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
