You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
