You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize