its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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