part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Dick very happy bro
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
