Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize