Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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