I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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