he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
