You smell like stripper and shame
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
