apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize