Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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