u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I think people are normalizing furries
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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