found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's never too late to be topless.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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