when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
