come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
