i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This is my gift to your gina
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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