I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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