im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
