i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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