I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
