I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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