I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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