I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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