D3 body, D1 cock
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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