All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
