Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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