oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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