That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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