it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize