are you still at the devil's house?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
