if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
