Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize