matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
