just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Randomize
