Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
