wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize