..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
