I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
