I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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