Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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